***This is my last post from my Guest Post series. Thank you again for all of your submissions! I dedicate this post to Aseelah and Xavier as they countdown the days until their hearts are united together as one forever! I wish nothing but peace, blessings, and eternal love for those two! In the short time period of a hectic day that I spent with them, I felt nothing but love, endearment, and a strong sense of “this is what love is”. Their hearts welcomed me like family, and I can’t wait to see the pictures from what I know will be a beautiful wedding colored like fire. AOML Aseelah, and Xavier you are amazing take good care of her.

Diego Hodge is a Husband, Father of 6, and a Marketing Aficionado. He currently manages the Atlanta office of bLaBbErWoRkS Marketing Concepts, LLC (www.bLaBbErWoRkS.com). He is also the Author of How To Score with Credit: What They Don’t Teach You in High School about Credit. You can follow him at http://twitter.com/diegohodge and http://www.facebook.com/diegohodge.*****

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Crazy enough I somehow get into a lot of interesting conversations about relationships and marriages. Children come up a lot as well since I have six of them, 5 girls and 1 boy. While my wife of 15 years (not including meeting her when I was in 6th Grade) and I have learned a lot over a decade and some change, I have gathered quite a bit wisdom by mistake. So, I figured it would be best to share some thoughts with anyone that would listen or read it. For those that are getting married this is prudent information and geared towards you however anyone can consider it and apply to whatever relationship fits.

I must first warn you. Consider everything that you read after this paragraph a lie until you prove it for yourself. I bring to you the 3 things I’ve learned about marriage (A man’s perspective).

The reason you get married will not be the same reason you will stay married. My wife and I married at the age of 21. We were truly in love at the time without the understanding of the actual term, better yet without the understanding of the type of love that we were really in. As most people we tried to find what we thought was the maximum expression of our love so the next obvious step was marriage. We both found out very soon that the love was conditional. At the very beginning it was about ME, her ego trip didn’t come until later. Eventually we reach a point where we were able to tone down our egos and experience and unconditional love, not totally but constantly improving. We married because we loved ourselves. We stayed married because we LEARNED how to love each other.

Trust each other to be human nothing more nothing less. This statement can be easily misconstrued so I will clear this up quickly. When two people get married you have a set way that a person is supposed to be. This is based on the information that you witnessed growing up coupled with your need to improve on your upbringing experience and how you were exposed to relationships. You can not help it as it is a natural tendency until it’s is interrupted with reality. What happens if you make a major error in your decision, the worst kind? Better yet what happens if your spouse makes that horrible decision? Your worlds will be crushed only because you expected something different then the reality which is at some point because both parties are maturing individually as well as a couple both parties will make a drastic mistake. If you trust a person to be human it will be easier to deal with and work through, if not you don’t have chance in hell to repair it and keep it moving. Don’t expect the worst just expect to grow with each other. Everyone forgets “Through Good Times and BAD Times”. We have are own idea of what “Bad” could be however it’s never your spouses definition.

Understand Relationship Chemistry. Chemistry in a marriage can be summed up into a very basic observation. Whatever age that you are when you are married is the most you will ever know about yourself at that point in time. Keep in mind that you will still be maturing as you age through your success and failures. This same condition refers to your spouse as well both of you are growing individually, like it or not. So here you have two individuals at a point of time in their life making a decision to combine their past experience and future expectations together. Not only do you have to constantly learn yourself but you have to learn this other person at the same time while you are learning how you both interact together. Trust and believe that Rocker Science is First Grade Math compared to this. The simple solution is to allow your spouse to grow to who they see themselves becoming with your support and encouragement (mistakes and all). This is important because if your spouse is prohibited from the act of maturing as an individual your relationship will truly be a lopsided one, as your spouse will not be able to bring anything of value to your union.

All three of these topics can be expounded however for the sake of time I summed them up as much as possible. I would like to thank @JGRunsthecity for the opportunity (ed. note: Thank you! And you’re welcome!); I hope I exceeded your expectations.

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