I posted this on FXP yesterday but wanted to get it up on One Fourth Random for my subscribers who don’t actually hit up the site. Plus, I’m sure some people might have missed it yesterday so feel free to add on here.

….And you men say that you want to know how to stroke it. Pause.

Randomly on twitter I received a request to blog on how to stroke a woman’s ego. I won’t lie, I shrugged it off, but then SEVERAL men jumped aboard to co-sign and encouraged me to go ahead and get to writing. Ladies, I asked them if I told them the secrets would they use them and they said they would so let’s see how this goes. I sent the following tweet out:

The responses started pouring in! I’ll outline the most frequent points for the gentlemen and I hope y’all put them to good use.

1) Bragging to your friends about us.

It stands to reason that what you tell your friends is a good indicator of how you really feel. Yea* sometimes you’ll front and say you’re not really feelin’ her when you are (c) Jay-Z, but rarely will a man brag on his girl if he’s not really into her. ‘So if you are over there telling your boys how fly she is, how she holds you down, and using sports analogies to show she’s your franchise player, then consider our ego stroked.

2) Compliments….especially random ones.

I got this response quite a bit today, and along with that the scope of the compliments matter as well. Sure we love to feel sexy, but we don’t want to feel like that’s all you see. So instead of making us feel like porn stars, make us feel like real stars. We also understand that men don’t understand why they have to repeat things to women as if we forget, but it’s not that. Y’all like Madden, we like for you to compliment us. Randomly too. Don’t always do it right when we’re leaving to go to work, make it a point to say it whenever it crosses your mind. I once had a friend say “you know, I think really nice things to say often, I just don’t say it.” Well…. it wouldn’t kill you to open your mouth. Stroke her ego, she’ll stroke yours.

3) Support us and show interest in what interests us.

Man I gotta co-sign my girl big right here. I love love love it when the G.O.A.T. tells me that he read my blog for the day. It’s a HUGE stroke to my ego because it means that he’s into me and into what I do. While I don’t spend too much time worrying about what the *haters* are saying, it’s good to know that he’s on my side. So show up at her performances, pick up that book she wrote, watch the recording of her giving that keynote address, and give feedback! Know your woman and know how much constructive criticism you can give though. I’d hate to see you caught up in a #whenkeepingitrealgoeswrong moment.

4) Go deep. Pause!

Come out of the gutter! What you’re thinking is probably a good way to stroke a different kind of ego. iDigress. We women are educated, intelligent, worldly, socially-aware beings that love a good conversation. We know that you sit there while we ramble about whatever show just came on Bravo and we get that you tune us out. But when you truly engage our minds and dig deep into our thoughts, we love it. It shows us that you know we’re intelligent and that you love our genius. So don’t be afraid to bring up the latest in current events you might be surprised by our perspective, might be an opportunity for us to “upgrade you”!

Gentlemen this is just the tip of the iceberg! I got an overwhelming number of responses that were each worth a nugget of great knowledge but I can’t just go around giving those out willy nilly! Learn your women! The above four were the most often repeated from women all over the spectrum so I feel that my sampling is good enough. Sure there are those out there that don’t need ANYTHING stroked to begin with, but hey, you can’t win ‘em all. Here’s a great jumping off point, and I’m telling you if you start here, you can go anywhere!

Until next time!

Ciao!

JG*

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