Oh No! Oh my gosh! Someone was caught cheating!!!!!! What are we going to do!? Everyone run and hide!

*CHILL!!!!*

Yesterday Twitter was all ablaze at the revelation that Tiger CaBlAsian Woods has been outed as a cheater. The way people were tweeting back and forth you would have thought the sky was falling and 2012 had come early. Seriously? Did you guys miss that TV show that dedicated every single episode to people and their “transgressions”? If you did, it was called “Cheaters” and I’m sure you can get it on DVD, Blue Ray, Ebay, whatever.

That’s right! It HAPPENS! As much as it sucks, it HAPPENS. As someone that has been cheated on before I can tell you first hand that it is the WORST feeling. I think I physically went through so much hell that I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. Really. This is why I absolutely abhor cheating (I’ve blogged about that before), and if a friend of mine cheats and they ask me my opinion I will tell them how I truly feel. Doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, everyone makes mistakes, but I’ll give you my opinion of your actions real and unedited. Not only have I been cheated on, but I have also had the very realistic opportunity to cheat on a boyfriend without the chance of being caught and I did not take it. I was able to be responsible about my actions and I realized that if the bait was that tempting, then I probably don’t respect/love/adore my boyfriend as much as I should. I broke up with him. All it takes a little honesty with yourself and your partner, communication, and you’re much better off.

What I can’t get over is how people are acting so shocked and outraged to hear that someone in the world has cheated! I’m not even going to get into the whole “but it’s TIGER” as if that’s supposed to mean something. He’s human and humans fail at a bunch of things. What I don’t understand is why this is of any importance to us. He didn’t cheat on you or I so what’s the point in getting all upset and up in arms about it? The man plays golf, he’s not an authority on moral codes.

Here’s what I saw yesterday, men were calmly stating that what Tiger did was stupid. Well some of them were, quite a few were saying his slip up was stupid. The rest were defending the entire brotherhood of men from the women that were throwing massive daggers their way (more on that in just a second). First let me say that all the men that were commenting “Tiger you have to be slicker than that” were pretty much fueling the flames of the fire that women had built to engulf you. If you want the us to stop calling you dogs and labeling you all cheaters, you may want to stop acting like it. One one hand you have men saying “we’re not all dogs” then on the other hand you have men saying “it’s just in our nature!” I understand that you can’t all get on one page, but to those men out there defending so hard, know that it’s an uphill battle and at least be a bit understanding to our fears. Plus, stop deflecting to the women that are considered the “side woman”. You blaming them is kind of silly unless you believe they drugged and tricked the married man into sleeping with them. Free will says that he knew what he was doing and he’s the one that broke his vows. So all of y’all wanting to talk about the other chicks are pointing the finger in the wrong direction. Own up to it.

On the other end, the ladies were flipping out! I think this is an interesting situation because women are secretly known for being the “better cheaters”. We’re known for being slicker than slick so while we’re out there decrying cheating and wailing about how men are dogs and just the worst thing ever, we know that there are several among us that are doing the same thing. Sure we get caught too, just not as often. So I think for some women all this wailing is an attempt to keep the veil up about how women can be just as bad. We hear so much about cheating in the celeb world concerning men because that’s how society has made it. When we hear about women cheating it’s a blip on the news or a minor headline on a magazine. We hear about men cheating it’s all over the place because typically there’s going to be drama and a lot of money involved. I mean look at this case, women are coming out of the woodwork left and right acting like cats. If it were reversed and let’s say Angelina Jolie was cheating on Brad, I doubt a whole lot of dudes would be lining up left and right because they are “upset” that they weren’t the only dude on the side. Not to mention, a woman’s reputation is regarded differently (o_O) and the news would crucify her quickly (“man-stealer!’) and move on. If she didn’t make more money than him, they wouldn’t even care. The media is a lynchmob chasing a juicy story and they know us ladies will eat it up.  But ladies we have to stop EXPECTING our men to cheat, that pretty much opens the door up for them to think they can. I’m sure some men figure you don’t trust them either way.

My next point is on all these people condoning what Elin may have done if those rumors are true. I’ll leave my opinions on it being Domestic Violence off to the side because I went in on Twitter yesterday, and it cannot be confirmed that DV is in fact what happened (but we’re smart enough to figure out that his injuries were more than likely caused by an altercation, and his fleeing was probably an attempt to not beat HER down in return). Ladies, it is never a good look to act crazy and all destructive just because your feelings are hurt. It’s not a good look when men do it, and the same rules apply to us. Seriously, what will it help? So you go around busting windows out of cars and burning up clothes, what will that do? Does that make you feel better? If so, that’s strange behavior and awkward if destroying someone else’s property is consoling to you. For those that think “Oh, he’ll be sorry that he ever cheated on ME,” think again. More than likely after you go around acting like a wild banshee tearing things up, he’ll wish that he never met you. Walk away with your dignity and your sanity intact. That’ll probably hurt worse, because he’ll know that he couldn’t break you, and after his willy nilly ways are done he’ll miss the fact that he had a REAL woman, but he acted recklessly and now she’s gone. Just think about it. Also, I understand that men are in most cases physically stronger than a woman, but that doesn’t mean that a woman can’t injure a man. I know y’all have seen Snapped. All this “but she COULDN’T possibly hurt him that bad” is rude and the reason why when men are the victims of DV they don’t speak out.

Cheating is a horrible, horrible thing to do but we have to wrap it around our minds that it DOES happen. Not always, not every time, and not just by men. Sure some people are just selfish and can’t get right, but you can’t help them. However, other people may have just made a mistake. Just because they cheated once doesn’t make them a serial cheater. There’s probably a lot of really dumb things you did at one point that you’ll never do again. When it comes to marriage, it’s not up to just one person to uphold the vows taken. Some say that adultery is the only Biblical allowance for divorce, but I still say that the vows you took should hold strong. If one side fails, the other side doesn’t have to. Remember you say “for better or for worse” and that means that when things get pretty bad, you work through it. If you can’t work through it, then fine do what you must, but just try to hold yourself together. As a person that’s really emotional I made a vow to myself to never let my emotions overtake my peace of mind. That’s just me. Those of you that insist on breaking windows, throwing bricks, beating up the other man, ending up in prison, all over love, more power to you.

#kayneshrug.

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